Tuesday, December 18, 2007
One thing we are doing this year is that we are keeping the gifts to stockings only. Growing up stockings were probably the most anticipted item. Mom knew just how to fill it with a mix of the practical (if I didn't get a years supply of q-tips I would be shocked) and fun (dvds, cds, earrings etc) in the HUGE stocking. Seriously this thing came up to my waist almost. Unfortunately my stocking met its' demise in Bulgaria when the car was stolen with everything in it but I'm so lucky to have the memories. No matter how big it was I could never figure out how to get everything back in it. I swear moms are just magical like that :)
This year PB and I have big stockings I picked up - they kinda match each other but are different colors. I'm looking forward to secretly filling it with the goodies I've been picking up along the way.
Another great tradition that we are continuing is Christmas Eve. I suppose it may have started because my mom was getting birthday presents that day, and how do you explain to small children the birthday/Christmas thing? All they want to know is why does mommy get to open presents but not me???? So, on Christmas Eve my sisters and I got certain gifts - every year the same thing. New pajamas so we looked so cute in the pictures the next day, a Christmas ornament to build into our collection so that when we all moved out we would have wonderful memories to hang on our trees, a Christmas book (more on this later) and either a stuffed animal or some kind of trinkety thing - depending on our age and what mom found that year.
The books were also cool - each night in December we three girls traded off. One got to pick the Christmas book to be read that night, one got to move the advent calendar (in those days it was a tree that had a different ornament to be hung on it each day, with the final day being the star at the top of the tree) and one got to sit in mom's lap when she read the book. That tradition flowed so easily and I have some of the best memories doing that. It will definitely be a tradition I continue with my children, and PB and I are even doing it this year. I can't wait :)
i have lunch packed
I am eating bfast
I'm sitting inside with warmth and comfort
we get to wrap presents for our loved ones tonight
i have you
we have a warm safe place to go home to
i have a job that gives me the ability to live the life I require
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
We are in the middle of a USCIS audit - which apparently is going to continue to happen at a more rapid pace with our permanent residency cases that are in the PERM status - but, this was my first one, and it will be filed tomorrow. I'll let you know how it turns out. I think we've put together a very strong case in a relatively short amount of time. Now it's off to the attorney and ready to be filed - cross your fingers for me that it is is adjudicated in our favor.
So, it was most definitely a learning curve for me, and an interesting one to boot. I'm learning more about the PERM process than I ever thought I wanted to know and we are creating new practices and policies surrounding it. I'm able now to create new procedures as I see fit to help eliminate these tedious audit processes later down the road. For now I take solace in the fact that they aren't just auditing me (meaning my company or employees) but that it's approximately a 50% audit increase across the board.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
For me, I've been focusing on the good things at my job, the great things in my life, and not trying to worry or stress about the things that aren't so great. I think staying positive and not stressed at this point in my life is one of the most important things I can do so I'm really trying to focus on it. I've never really been into the new-age mumbo jumbo, but there is something to be said about your attitude. If someone cuts me off while driving, I can either let it piss me off, or I can think that maybe they didn't realize they did it or have an emergency to get to. That type of thinking allows me to not blow my top, keep my cool - and live to see another day :)
I perfer a good attitude. I know it makes me more fun to be around, and I know that I'm enjoying life so much more when I have a better attitude and outlook. It's not the easiest thing in the world - looking through perpetual rose-colored glasses, but PB is a great role-model and really allows me to focus on good things.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
My list of what I'm thankful for - since I didn't get around to posting it last week (yeah, I know I kinda slacked on the lengthy posts during the holiday week - but the rule is to post - no word minimum to my knowledge).
2. BT *
3. My family and their health and happiness
4. Being physically able to complain about going to the gym - cause, if I couldn't complain about it that would mean I wasn't physically able to go -
5. My commute - cause it means I have a good job to go to each day - one that pays the bills.
6. Friends - the ones that matter are few and far between - but that's how it's always been and that's not a bad thing.
7. Holidays that bring people closer together.
8. Memories - I love all that I have done and what has gotten me to this point in life.
9. My camera and sewing machine - probably my two favorite "material possesions" - they might allow me to get out of the normal rat race and make my own living...
10. Possiblities - there is so much in store for us in the future...
Monday, November 26, 2007
Seriously though, when did you grow up? I can't believe it - in a matter of moments you went from a tiny baby born on Thanksgiving day (still one of the things I'm thankful for each year) to an intelligent young lady who conducts herself in an incredible manner on a daily basis. You have such a good heart and care so much about others. You are truly an inspiration to others, and a wonderful big sister :).
Love you honey - have a wonderful year -
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Other than that I'm just enjoying my last day of the 4 day weekend - not quite ready to jump back into work yet, but talked to my mom today and she found out she's coming to visit me this coming Friday (I'm soooo excited - she'll finally get to meet PB and BT) so it's very cool. It's been a surprise for her, so I know she's excited too. I'd love to get the border and backing on the quilt before she gets here but I don't know how that will happen. PB and I have just this week after work to get the old house totally cleared out and clean cuase we're totally outta there by the 30th. Eeck! Lots of work left to do, but I think we're up for it...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
We're off soon to go to the movies, not one I particularly want to see, but I'd love to go see "Into the Wild". I read the book when I was in DC and loved it...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Pattern:Yarn: Lion's Brand Wool-Ease, Thick & Quick
Needles: US 8 29" circulars and US 10.5 dpns
Notions: One big ol' funky button, needle and thread
The band of the hat is knit flat:
Using circular needles to accommodate the number of sts, CO 75 sts, leaving a fairly long tail (don't join).
Knit seed stitch *P1, K1* for 9 rows.
Row 10: Bind off 13 sts (this is the button flap) - 62 sts remain.
Change to dpns: K10, place marker (pm), K11, pm, K10, pm, K10, pm, K10, pm, K10, pm, k2tog to join round.Knit 13 more rounds
(Several people have mentioned that their hats have turned out a little short. I would recommend trying on your hat at this point and seeing if it is your desired length. If not, knit an extra round or two (or three) and then continue with the remaining pattern)
Begin decreasing: k2tog before each marker.
Continue to do so until only 7 sts remain.
Break yarn leaving a fairly long tail.
Pull tail through remaining sts, pull tight, and knot.
Now, try on the hat. Pull the button flap until the hat band is to desired fit.
Remove hat, holding button flap in place (I used a dpn to keep it in place).
Using the tail from the CO sts, stitch the bottom edge of the band and button flap together. Using a needle and thread, attach your button to the button flap.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Sorry for my short and boring posts - it's been a heck of a weekend.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
yeah, showed up after 2pm. AND while he was there, he had to put in a new line cause comcast took the existing one, since he was there first, and he totally cracked the vinyl siding on my house - about 7 inches long! BS - and I'm PISSED. If he had pre-drilled there would be no crack, but he took out his anger and frustration on my house, and now I'm definitely not happy - and will be letting Directv know about it. Both PB and I were nice when he showed up two hours after the 4 hour time slot had ended... we didn't complain, we were nice and still look what happened.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Anyway, we had fun catching up, seeing the puppy pics - she has an adorable jack russel who is too cute for words and chatting about life. We left the evening with the decision that it needs to happen every couple of weeks. Now we just need to stick to it.
Now, off to more moving...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Here are all the fun things I would love to get completed in time for shipment down to the fam - cause honestly, we decided last night to forgo the crazy holiday travel, and just enjoy each other on Christmas morning - sleep in, lounge in pjs and play WOF - instead of fighting traffic and parking at the airport, spending 200% more than it shoudl normally cost on a plane ticket, to fly down so PB can meet my family for the 1st time during the craziest time of the year when stress is raging and people/places/things are just nuts - call me crazy but I'm thrilled :) (p.s. - we'll go down there spring break time when my other sis, her hubby and their poopy butt can go - which honestly is all my mom cares about - getting the whole fam together at once - we're a pretty fun group...)
k - I'm not getting the picture thingy working - so I'll list out what I want to do... not necessarily saying it's gonna get done.... and I'm leaving out mom and PB since they both read this...
Tote bag - gotta get done this next week for b-day
2 make-up bags (one to match each of the totes I've made previously)
purple quilt - DONE!
felt name book - in progress
3 small handbags/totes - not sure of the style yet but for my three cutie-patootie nieces
more to be added I'm sure.....
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I've taken to wearing gloves in the morning while driving to work - I did this last year as well and seems to help, but we're not quite at the weather that you bundle totally up for, yet kinda need to for a little while at least. My little AZ butt gets cold still :)
Anyway I guess I can't complain too much since last year we were covered in snow and ice for months at a time - literally - I would post pictures of it but they aren't up on flickr yet. PB and I really had fun with that first blizzard though - you remember it - even if you aren't from CO - it shut the Denver airport down for days - people were stuck there, cars couldn't leave, planes couldn't take off - crazy. It totally delayed my flight home, but I did eventually make it home for the holidays - even though I'll never fly United again due to an agent flat out lying to me... grrr (add them to BA and I am slowing losing international carriers)...
Hmm, I know it's supposed to warm up, which is a good thing cause PB and I need to finish moving.... ah, the joys of moving :)
(*Dear God, please let me find the motivation to move somehow...)
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
2. I'm generally a control freak who is slowly learning to let go... it makes things sooo much easier.
3. I like happy endings. I don't watch scary movies or anything like that, and I have to "create" my own endings for movies that either don't really "end" or have a sad ending - I'll change it all around to where I'm happy with the result. People think that makes me weird.
4. I have an addiction to cheese. It truly is an addiction. Living in Bulgaria with 2 kinds of cheese was torture.
5. I gossip. It's bad - I talk about others behind their back instead of confronting them. Bad bad bad.
6. I'm fairly lazy lately - I'm usually lying if I say I enjoy working out.
7. I have had baby fever for the last 5 years of my life.
8. I hate reality tv
9. PB and I have a made up language we use only with each other - and we've realized other people will think we're completely off our rockers if we are overheard talking to one another.
10. I don't understand how I ever enjoyed "clubbing" or staying out late, or getting ready at 10pm to go out... I'm at home, in bed way before then...like I said in no. 1 - Boring :) and I love it that way.
Monday, November 12, 2007
It's wonderfully perfect now, and while the nervous/scared/anxious feeling is still there...it's mostly excitement now :)
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I hate the actual "moving" part of moving. The schlepping boxes and furniture etc. That's the part the gets me. I remember when I was in high school we moved next door - how ridiculous is that? Not only are you packing eveything - but you're moving it all by carrying the boxes next door - arg. No uhaul - no truck - no breaks in between one house and another - it was horrible and I think I made sure I was working that day :)
This time around it's not nearly as bad as it usually is. I actually like the moving part right now. PB and I got the storage unit and garage pretty much completed this weekend - which feels sooooo good. Now we have our little place to pack up and move, and we'll get to that next weekend so we are completely done before turkey day :)
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
We are getting great advice from coworkers who have done similar things, and luckily we know a great CPA who can help with the tax stuff - I'm pretty good with the bookkeeping etc since that's what paid my way through college (that and stupid college loans). I'm going to start looking into the right software we'll need, a good bank and all that stuff - seems complicated and I get confused and overwhelmed really quickly, but it's nice to do it together, and it's moving in the right direction for both of us - be able to set our own hours - work when we want, and be able to enjoy each other.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
PB and I are moving back into my house - we have begun putting some things in - which was mainly done to "stage" the home, since we all know having an empty home doesn't do anything for the market appeal - and it doesn't help that this home has been on the market for a year. A Year? Seriously? Wow, time flies when you're... oh wait. Nevermind.
Anyway, we will continue to slowly move things over this week/weekend, and we are excited about it mainly because it will offer us more room than where we currently are, even though the house is tiny. But, it also has a yard - and with it now being FSBO - will allow us to maintain it - keep it looking nice - show it and hopefully get the damn thing sold already!
I'd post pics of it, cause it's an adorabel 1940's bungalow, but of course I'm at work - sssshhhhh - and I didn't upload photos on flickr of the house. So, use your imagination - it's small, but cute and well-maintained for a hosue of it's age.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
I'm almost finished with my menu, and this weekend I'll begin picking up the non-perishable items. the timeline is almost complete, and I know which days I'll be making my pies, from scratch (including the best crust recipe in the world) and I've even decided that since we'll have out of town guests with us (his dad and step-mom will be driving in) as well as local friends, I've decided to do as much as possible ahead of time - if I can chop, dice, assemble or parboil anything the day or two before hand, I guarantee I'll enjoy the football more.
Thinking back I have many good Thanksgiving memories - we had two growing up - that happens a lot when you have divorced parents. My first niece was born on Thanksgiving. My sis and her husband were living with my dad, and apparently my sis went into labor in the wee hours of the morning - Dad called other sis and I at home later in the morning and gave instructions on how to finish Thanksgiving dinner. So the two of us (can I insert that I was 13 and other sis was 15 at the time) cooked a pretty complete meal, packed up plates and hopped in the car to zoom to the hospital to meet the newest member of the family (who will be turning 15 this month - can't belive how time flies).
We used to have this great tradition (which apparently many people think is super cheesy) of going around the family table and talking about what we're most thankful for this year... I remember my first thanksgiving in Bulgaria, I spent it with a group of other volunteers, had a fabulous meal (and getting a turkey in Bulgaria is no easy feat - apparently it's an extremely difficul animal to raise - Bulgarians don't really eat it and that jsut drives the price and weirdness factor up). I brought that tradition up and we went around the room, each of us listing what we were thankful for that year. Mine? Well, just that morning in the mail I had gotten a copy of my mom's passport. Something she had never had before, but went out right after I left for Bulgaria and got, just so she could come visit me.
This will be my second thanksgiving with PB - and while I have so many things to be thankful for, he is the main one. I am so incredibly happy, and lucky, and finally in a good place in my life. I can't wait to cook - and eat leftovers, and veg, and watch football - and maybe even go around the table and share what I'm thankful for this year.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
It's funny - I deliberately remember talking to my mom before I left for Peace Corps - an idealistic college senior getting ready to "go save the world" and we talked about how my generation didn't have any of those moments that define the generation - moments that you could discuss many years later, and every person in the room remembered exactly where they were, and exactly how they felt when that event took place - so far my generation had had the OJ Simpson trial and the death of Princess Diana. Wow. My mom's generation had the Vietnam War, the assasination of President Kennedy and so many others. Turns out I shouldn't have spoken so soon. Not too long after that conversation did 9/11 happen, then Afghanistan, then Iraq, then Virginia Tech, then too many to count. So many defining moments. Do you remember where you were when you heard about them? Have you thought about putting down on paper your thoughts and experiences for future generations?
Monday, November 5, 2007
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French secré, secret, from Latin secretus, from past participle of secernere to separate, distinguish, from se- apart + cernere to sift
Date: 14th century
kept from knowledge or view
working with hidden aims or methods
conducted in secret
remote from human frequentation or notice
revealed only to the initiated
designed to elude observation or detection
Ever had a secret so big you thought you were going to explode if you couldn’t tell it? This has come up lately due to feeling a bit removed from the rest of society. PB and I are generally pretty happy in our own little world – occasionally we seek out others to fulfill something that the other can’t do for us – mainly, PB will call on a friend to go play Frisbee golf because for the life of me I know I’ll stink, and if I’m not going to be great at it…why bother?? Usually when PB is out with friends, I’d rather be alone. I’m much better off when I have some “me time” and that’s when I rejuvenate. Anyone else that way?
My work did a Myer’s-Briggs eval for the entire HR department a few weeks ago, and since I had never taken the test, was given one. Turns out I’m INFJ – I finally have a 4 letter explanation of why I am the way I am. Most people at work couldn’t believe I was an I – especially since I’m usually outgoing and talkative, but I much prefer to be alone and quiet, introspective and being around a lot of people is exhausting to me. The Feeling and Judging didn’t come as a surprise, nor did the Intuition. None of it was a surprise to me really, rather the surprise and “ah ha!” moment came when it was explained what an Introvert did under stress. We became extroverts – which is definitely the case with me. When I’m under stress, I want everyone to know about it J.
Perhaps that’s why it’s hard for me to keep a secret. Secrets sometimes cause stress, and if it’s bad – I want to share because others can help me come up with a good solution, and if it’s good – well, I just want people to know how happy I am.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Love love love the crockpot - what an incredible invention. Today is a new recipe - roast beef. I'll add potatoes and such after it's almost done, for a full meal with one dish to clean. I swear lately all I've done is dishes - :) hehe, and I'm actually willingingly giving up my dishwasher???
One of my favorite feel good movies is on tv right now - The American President. I still get choked up at his speech at the end of the movie - you know the one, where he talks about integrity and family values. Makes me wish he was running, rather than this crap we're now hearing about constantly all over the news... One day I swear we'll find a political figure that can break the barrier between parties, get rid of the smut throwing, and finally get down to the root of what is going wrong in America. Haha, listen to me going on and on, I guess I'm still and idealist at heart. And wanting a better place to raise my children. A place where they won't worry about people going hungry, or crime in the streets, or school shootings, a place where they can date someone of a different race, or the same gender without being judged or ridiculed. I don't see it happening anytime soon, but I suppose I can still dream of a day where we'll have the right leader to bring us back to a time and place where morals and values are a higher priority than money or things.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Unfortunately my niece made an unexpected appearance well before her due date (around 29 weeks) and spent much time in the NICU. By the time she got out and was healthy enough to be around others, I lost my opportunity to get my bum out there - you know how it is, work, life everything else gets in the way, and sometimes it's just difficult to prioritize.
So, my idea is in the next year to practice practice practice and read up on starting a small business, and hopefully by this time next year will be able to do it part time, and then, who knows!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Either way, tons of nwe things have happended since I last showed my face (does it seem weird that I use that term) around here. I've been at a new job for the last three months. Finally got the courage, and the right offer, to leave the non-profit world. It was hard, and in other ways it was too easy. I do enjoy the bigger paycheck, and opportunities (can anyone say tuition reimbursement???) but I miss the extra vacation time, flexiblity and closer office. I think I'll survive. More tomorrow on the possible small business start up that is in the works.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
With that high, it's hard for me to say that I'm leaving my current job. Last night I was offered an incredible job totally outside my comfort zone. It's a corporate job, which not only means no more fundraising, but I'll actually get to start making more money! It's an international position, which I love, and they have offices all around the world, including Italy. Who knows, perhaps work might take me back to my favorite place. :) - I am truly excited about this new beginning and the opportunity to jump into something that excites me again.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
You Are a Liberal for Life
You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it.
For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business.
You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic.
Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
We went to 11 Mile Lake, rented a pontoon and froze our tushies off :) and had a blast doing it! It was really nice to get out on the water, see the snow capped mountains in the distance and feel the wind on my face. (Pictures to come later). We drove back through Colorado Springs and had an amazing view of Pike's Peak.
Sunday we barbequed at the house. Keg and all, it was fun. But exhausting. There came a point in time where I didn't have the energy to try to make small talk with anyone :)
Rockies kicked some Cardinal tail on Monday, and there were 3 homerun hits that came really close to where we were sitting! It was definitely exciting to watch their winning streak continue :)
Now, back to reality, work and all. I found out today that I'm in the running for a division job that I really want. Phone interview next week, wish me luck!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Bourgas - the town on the Black Sea Coast near Karnobat - the town in Bulgaria I lived in. I loved visiting the Black Sea - this was in the fall - October I think , right after I arrived. It was a windy, cool day, and was also the day I went to the movie theater (saw something in Engligh!!) and found a store that sold cheddar. I had the greatest time exploring that city by myself. A 40 minute bus ride from home, and I was at the beach. I lvoe to hear the sound of waves lapping at the sand. The crashing water, seagulls and peacefullness of the beach. I am much more of a water person than anything else. I thrive on water - love it immensely. I don't even need to swim in it to love it as much as I do. Maybe it's the uncertainty of it all - what the oceans hold that we know nothing about...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
When I actually have to come into the office and deal with all the BS - that's when I want to walk out. I think my boss is the laziest, most deceitful, promoted way beyond her means type of boss. Even some of the most basic things are beyond her capabilites. What's frustrating the most is that she plays favorites, and I'm not one of them. No matter how much I excel at my job, there is one person here she always compares me to, and I never match up. It's frustrating. I've been looking for something - anything - to get out from under her. Finally something came up that would be more of a lateral move, but it would be a bigger job, more challenging etc. I brought it up to her and was told I had her "full support to pursue this". Yeah, well, she's now promoting this job to that coworker of mine who she adores. Unfortunately she doesn't know that the coworker is resigning in a few months to move cross-country to go to grad school. Tough luck sweetie - you'll have to find a new favorite. I feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough - not that I care too much about what she thinks of me, I know that I am doing a good job, but what I don't feel like dealing with is when she prohibits me from doing my job properly because she can't follow through with things. She is abusing the system here, and it frustrates the daylights out of me. I don't really know how much longer I can take it. I'm at my wits end. It's gotten so bad that I'm blogging about it! I've been keeping track of everything - dates and times she's out of the office, things she's dropped the ball on..... I can only hope that eventually it will come back to bite her in the a$$...
Monday, May 21, 2007
It has two elastic bottle-pockets on the outside along with a large flap pocket on the back. Inside has another side-long flap pocket on the back, and two elastic diaper pockets on the inside. It is fully lined and I used a fusible fleece to make it extra soft... I know that I want to do a changing pad to match, but that will take more time since friends are coming in town, and all my sewing is done on the kitchen table right now (it's only a one bedroom apartment...) I know it's not perfect, but I really think she'll love it-I hope she does anyway!!
On another note, we took the Harley up Clear Creek Canyon this weekend and the scenery reminded me why I love living in Colorado:
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Anyway, I made it last night. Finally. It was one of those tough runs, that makes me hate it. Never want to run again. Too hard. Don't wanna.
Then this morning. My legs reminded me why I do this. They feel alive, and useful and strong again. And all I can think about is getting back there tonight.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
R- Bag, completed - card, done
B- Photographs, completed (frame not purchased) - card, not done
M/D- Photographs, completed (frame not purchased) - GC not purchased - card, not done
C- Bag, almost complete - card, not done
Obviously a slacker :)
Monday, May 7, 2007
Saturday was spent celebrating Cinco de Mayo with friends. We ate, drank, chatted, learned about and played with Cascarones, and had an impromptu poker tournament. Here are some pics from that fun day:
Seriously, check it out - it's me and the boys left, then, heads-up. I couldn't lose- I just kept getting the cards! Yay! I still can't believe I won!! $40 in my pocket - sweeeeet!
After that we went to watch the uneventful De la Hoya - Mayweather boxing match. Boring. It certainly did not live up to any expectations of reviving boxing. 12 rounds of complete boringness.
Sunday was awesome. Lazy day spent gardening and sewing. Planted zucchini, small sugar pumpkins (perfect for pies this summer and fall), spinach and radishes behind the onions that are doing real well. Also transplanted something that appeared to be strawberry plants, so cross your fingers on that one. The rest of the afternoon was spent piecing together a new hobo bag. It's this really cool bluey-purpley color, and I can't wait to see the finished result. Tonight I need to seam the tops together and topstich - that's it.
I also figured out my mothers day gifts - not a moment too soon :) gotta get those out in the mail today or tomorrow!
Friday, May 4, 2007
Unfortunately, I let enough time go by that I don't know how to dig myself out of whatever hole I've managed to get myself into. There are many people that I do miss, and I wish that I could call em up and tell them. But instead, I write on here about it. And hope that someday they stumble upon this blog eas I've stumbled upon theirs. For now, I live in the moment. Enjoy everyday that I am happy, healthy, loved and fulfilled by what is in my life right now.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Who really wants to think in terms of who is "more" friends with someone?
Nobody expects people to "take sides" or "choose". That's awful. But, truth be told, that's what happens. You know in your heart, that when break-ups happen, people take sides. I'm not saying they do it intentionally, or to hurt, but perhaps somewhere in their subconscious, it happens, and it hurts. You never expect to wake up and realize that some is not the friend you thought they were - that maybe they are closer to the other person. I know I'm rambling, but I also know nobody reads this, so it's a good vent for me...
I've spent the last 10 months realizing who my "real" friends are. It's humbling, and sad. I miss them, of course. The easy banter. I don't blame them. They don't know the whole story, other than I look like the "bad" guy. It's also probably hard. They don't know what to say, so they don't say anything. My mom told me that divorce is like a death. It really is. But she also told me long ago about what she learned when her mom died. It's not what you say to someone who is hurting or dealing with a loss, it's the fact that you say anything at all. She doesn't remember all the condolensces from family and friends, or the people who came by with a casserole - but she does remember those that said or did nothing at all.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
It was a fantastic weekend - It started out with a grueling 5 hour drive through some of the most breathtaking scenery - this is why I love the Rockies! Had a great surf and turf dinner at a place called The Trough - Chris even took one of the menu's when we left (yes, he had permission!). Saturday was spent fishing Blue Mesa Rez where enough native trout was caught to provide a yummy dinner later that night. Sunday before heading out we hit a really cool mountain-biking area to test that out. I'm a complete noob.... only been out in the mountains on it a handfull of times, but I enjoyed it. My lungs reminded me that I was trying to do all that at 9,000 feet, but my legs enjoyed the ride. I got some good color, not burnt, but a little brown, which is nice. I certainly wasn't worried about showing up red at my job on Monday (where it would not have been looked nicely upon considering the org I work for...)
Overall, my first real trip to the Western Slope, and Gunnison, was noteworthy. Summer is finally feeling like it's here (yes, technically it's spring, but since I'm an AZ girl at heart, there is only one real season- warm = summer in my book :) - it's wonderful).
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
On Sunday we had the entire softball team over to celebrate their Boulder Victory!! Yay Champs! There was a great turnout - people were playing cornhole tournaments, eating lots of brats and drinking off the keg we got. Me, I relaxed in the new hammock I bought on Friday and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Later on I got a group to play cribbage, but unfortunately I was not victorious - major bummer. We also watched the Denver Nuggets defeat San Antonio in game one of the playoffs! Go Nugs!
Check out some of the awesome pics from that day:
I took Monday off and spent the day sewing - loved it! Finally figured out zippers too, which I consider a mojor accomplishment. Forgot to upload the pics, but I will get them up in a bit...
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I'm shocked and horrified at the tragedy that occured there. Information is still pouring in, and there are many questions; it's overwhelming. My heart goes out to that community as they mourn those lost, begin to pick up the pieces, and attempt to move forward.
It's made me think about the circumstances of my life. I've indicated before that I'm going through a divorce right now. I never thought that at my young age (late 20's) I would be facing this. I know it's absolutely the right decision but that doesn't make it any easier. I am 26 days from it being finalized, but I know even then that he won't be out of my life. Even now, we are arguing over the little petty things, things that don't matter, they're just material things. Something that was a gift to me from his father, an expensive gift, but a gift nonetheless, is now causing so much grief that I'm willing to give it back, just so I don't have to deal with it any longer. I'm also still waiting on copies of all my pictures. Something I've asked for time and time again, but still have not received. Something that means more to me than money; my memories.
The house is still on the market, going to be relisted with a new agent. It's gotta get sold. I want to be done with this person - someone that is so different that who I met 6 years ago. I want to close the last page of that chapter of my life - I want to 100% move forward. I'm so close.
My "pursuit of happyness" I've written about in prior posts makes me unbelievably happy. Someone who has shown me what a give-and-take, quality relationship should be. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm enjoying the time we have together. I'm learning a lot about myself; I'm not sure if it's just that I've grown up, or that I've learned from a bad relationship, or that I'm more mature, or that I know not to worry about the little things - to pick my battles, or it we are just really good together, but this relationship is so different. I'm patient, and giving, and don't hold grudges... I love who I am now. I'm learning everyday, and enjoying every moment we share. Isn't that what life is all about?
Monday, April 9, 2007
It's beautiful. Really. I love snow. I love my four seasons. I love watching the leaves change color and dropping down to a big pile in the yard, the first snow blanketing the earth and making everying a crystal white; snow angels, snowball fights, and hot chocolate. Then spring, rebirth, new life. Trees budding, flowers blooming; rainfall. The smell of freshly cut grass, crisp cool nights. Then comes summer with the hot, sweaty days. Feeling the sun on your face. Long days, and warm nights. Sounds of kids playing in the park, baseball. It's a beautiful thing. Really. So let's get on with it already!
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
This is what my driveway and front yard looked like this morning. Hard to believe last night I was cheering the Wild Wings softball team to at 21 to 6 victory just last night! Spring snows are wet and heavy - perfect for playing outside - execpt for the fact that I'm done with snow, I was gardening two nights ago, and Chris and I are headed to OK tonight after work. Blizzards and tornados do not make for good road-trip weather...
Oh well, we've decided to continue with our plan, but drive slower and stop along the way if needed :). I've got my books ready for the 12 hour drive, and have a few knitting projects to work on along the way... this is the first one I'd like to tackle. I have the perfect yarn in mind for it, and although I don't have size 35 needles (who does??? they're HUGE!!!) I've decided to do size 17 needles instead...I think it will still be lovely.
uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our
discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different
ways or truer answers."
- M. Scott Peck
Today, look at an area of your life in which you are feeling unhappy or unfulfilled.
What could you do, beginning today, to improve the situation?
Monday, March 26, 2007
Right after the Tea I knew I needed a break - get outside, do some mountain biking or something! So, luckily I got the chance to head up hiking in Left Hand Canyon, a wonderful place just outside of Boulder that I was introduced to last summer. It is only about 30 minutes from my house, which is wonderful - and it's so incredibly beautiful and secluded. The canopy of trees ensured that we would still have plently of snow to tromp around on, even though it was a gorgeous 70degrees down the mountain :). Of course, my arthritis kicked in and reminded me that the song is true ... I'm feeling much better after coming home and relaxing. Caught the last hour of Planet Earth, and was able to tape the first two hours. I can't wait to watch those. What an incredible documentary. Check it out on the Discovery Channel if you get a chance...