The shootings at Virginia Tech yesterday got me (and the rest of America, I'm sure), thinking about life - how fragile it is, how little time we really have, making it all count, not sweating the small stuff but making sure that the important things are truly treasured....
I'm shocked and horrified at the tragedy that occured there. Information is still pouring in, and there are many questions; it's overwhelming. My heart goes out to that community as they mourn those lost, begin to pick up the pieces, and attempt to move forward.
It's made me think about the circumstances of my life. I've indicated before that I'm going through a divorce right now. I never thought that at my young age (late 20's) I would be facing this. I know it's absolutely the right decision but that doesn't make it any easier. I am 26 days from it being finalized, but I know even then that he won't be out of my life. Even now, we are arguing over the little petty things, things that don't matter, they're just material things. Something that was a gift to me from his father, an expensive gift, but a gift nonetheless, is now causing so much grief that I'm willing to give it back, just so I don't have to deal with it any longer. I'm also still waiting on copies of all my pictures. Something I've asked for time and time again, but still have not received. Something that means more to me than money; my memories.
The house is still on the market, going to be relisted with a new agent. It's gotta get sold. I want to be done with this person - someone that is so different that who I met 6 years ago. I want to close the last page of that chapter of my life - I want to 100% move forward. I'm so close.
My "pursuit of happyness" I've written about in prior posts makes me unbelievably happy. Someone who has shown me what a give-and-take, quality relationship should be. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm enjoying the time we have together. I'm learning a lot about myself; I'm not sure if it's just that I've grown up, or that I've learned from a bad relationship, or that I'm more mature, or that I know not to worry about the little things - to pick my battles, or it we are just really good together, but this relationship is so different. I'm patient, and giving, and don't hold grudges... I love who I am now. I'm learning everyday, and enjoying every moment we share. Isn't that what life is all about?